When you want someone to relate to you, you must be open and honest. Well here's honesty, everyone has a moment where they feel like they have lost and I would be one of those people. You see people, celebrities, and people on social media....so successful. They seem to have it all, that is because they have gone to the point where they have lost it all, but they don't show that part.
Take me for example, I just published a book, I have an amazing husband, unyielding faith and a baby on the way. Sounds good right? That's just the outside looking in. Others who have similar stories make it seem like it is easily attainable, well let me tell you something about life...IT'S NOT. It is worth the effort but I cannot stress to you how dedicated you have to be.
I was at a point where I didn't want to finish it because I was so concerned with how people would take it and who would actually read it. When I was done, my confidence level plummeted and I felt like I did it all for nothing. The first week only four people bought it and I thought to myself "What a waste." But digging deeper, I was excited to take the leap and give people an inside look on what I had to offer. All four of those people saw my potential and made me feel good knowing that they could relate to what I put out there. In that moment I reached my goal because like I said, I only needed one person to see the direction I'm heading in and believe in me and I exceeded my goal of having four!
Marriage is a beautiful thing. My husband is very supportive and loving and takes care of the family. Together we are a force. But people sugar coat the whole reasoning by saying, "You have to be willing to do the work," and "marriage is tough." Let me be 100% real, there are parts of marriage that are FUCKED UP, and tough is an understatement. For better or worse has no clause, so like I said before...once you get to the "worse" part, you have to be able to give your all, and it will have you rethinking your decisions. Along with that, you cannot allow what God has joined be separated by ANYONE. I will be the first to tell you, it sounds good but you really have to be committed. You will find a strong dislike in your heart. There will be a time that the love of your life WILL hurt you. Your fights sometimes will feel like the end of all that is good. No matter how bad it gets you have to remember that love endures all things. Not to scare you...but this is the reality. Now...I love my husband and through it all I can successfully say that it's worth the work for now, but you have to understand the value of being one...that will be tested constantly. With our love and connection to our Creator, we remain a force.
I can sum that up by saying that you have to make it stronger. I am not really religious, but very spiritual and I do believe in God, no matter what I choose the title to be whether it is God, The Creator, etc.
Yes, I am pregnant. Giving life is a beautiful thing. People say a lot about bringing life into this world and how they weep for the children being born in this society. I will say to my children and my unborn child that we need them in these times to make a difference, to turn this thing around...so I am not fearful but hopeful. People get excited about pregnancy, I'm excited about raising the life thereafter. There was a time that I thought that I was unable to have children and it couldn't seem to come at a much worse time with what we have going on. This thing is beautiful regardless. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman so aware of her universe, giving life. The sweetest reward to be granted to someone so undeserving.
Surprisingly, but not so surprisingly, with everything that I have going on that could seem so unbearable...there is someone out there that looks at my situation and could say that I'm the lucky one because their situation is ten times worse. So I am thankful for the good and also grateful for the bad because it gives me a better sense of appreciation and with that...I am blessed.
So don't be so down on yourself because there is always something great in the outcome, and even the disasters are beautiful.
That's my transparency, I hope it helps.